i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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