Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
