Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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