come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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