Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you told grandpa to call you daddy
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
