Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
