lets start a swedish sibling band together
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
