Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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