i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
