I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I party with great urgency now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize