I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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