that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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