Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
