Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
