im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
