Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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