dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
