Plan B is the new Plan A
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
