I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
