i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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