this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
