haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
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