Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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