These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
