Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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