You really coming over, don't trick.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
