Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
