Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
