FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your penis caused this!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
