HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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