What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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