Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
