none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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