Dual....:-)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
