one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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