I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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