i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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