Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
