he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
