I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
