i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
