I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
