Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We don't watch enough power rangers
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
