I just made out with a guy for $7.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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