I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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