So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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