So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
