If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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