You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
