she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize