so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
