the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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