and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
