you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
