woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
is that a dick in a sweater?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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