East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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