it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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