He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
